How to Influence at Work: What Are Influencing Skills, Really?

Why How to Influence at Work matters more than ever

Organisations are flatter, more collaborative and more hybrid than they used to be. You can no longer rely on job title alone to get decisions made. People want to understand the “why” behind requests, and they usually have competing priorities of their own.

Strong influencing skills help you to:

• Secure buy-in for projects that cut across teams or departments.
• Shape decisions even when you are not the most senior person in the room.
• Raise concerns about risk, inclusion or wellbeing without being labelled “difficult”.
• Support others to see the bigger picture, not just their own workload.

In short, How to Influence at Work is a key leadership capability, whether or not you have “leader” in your job title yet.

What influencing skills look like in everyday work

It can be tempting to think of influence only in big, formal moments – the board presentation or the high-stakes negotiation. Yet most of the time, influence happens in much smaller moves. For example:

• You are in a project meeting and can see a risk no one else has named. Influencing means framing that risk clearly, linking it to shared goals and inviting the group to explore options, rather than just saying “this will never work”.
• You need another team to prioritise your request when they are already stretched. Influencing means understanding their pressures, being honest about the impact of delay and working together on a plan that feels fair.
• You are trying to change a process that disadvantages some colleagues. Influencing means sharing evidence, telling the story of people affected and offering practical, inclusive alternatives.
• You want your manager to see your potential for the next step. Influencing means showing how you already add value, asking for feedback and being clear about the opportunities you are looking for.

None of these scenarios requires you to be louder or more forceful. They do require you to think about what matters to others, how you communicate and how you build trust over time.

The core components of influencing skills

When we break influencing down in our How to Influence course, several consistent themes emerge. Together, they form a practical toolkit you can use in almost any situation.

1. Clarity about what you are trying to achieve

It might sound obvious, but you cannot influence effectively if you are not clear on your own outcome. Are you seeking a decision today, or simply shaping thinking. Do you want agreement in principle, or commitment to concrete actions.

Before a conversation, ask yourself:

• “What would ‘good’ look like by the end of this discussion.”
• “What is non-negotiable for me – and where am I flexible.”

That clarity makes it much easier to steer the conversation and to recognise when you have genuinely moved things forward.

2. Understanding what matters to other people

Influence is rarely about winning an argument. It is about aligning your goals with other people’s priorities. That means doing a little homework on the people you need to bring with you.

Useful questions include:

• What pressures are they facing – time, budget, risk, visibility.
• What are they measured on. How will this decision show up in their world.
• What might they be worried about if they say yes.

In our drama based learning scenes, you see characters who ignore these questions – and watch their proposals fall flat. Then we rewind and explore what happens when the same characters use insight into others’ drivers. The contrast is striking.

3. Building trust and credibility

People are more likely to be influenced by someone they trust. Credibility is built over time, through small, consistent behaviours:

• Doing what you say you will do.
• Being honest about what you do not know.
• Giving credit and sharing wins, rather than grabbing the spotlight.
• Being willing to listen, not just persuade.

These behaviours are not glamorous, yet they are at the heart of effective influence. Our actors often portray leaders whose tone undermines their message – for example, sounding defensive, impatient or dismissive without realising it. Seeing this from the outside helps learners spot similar patterns in themselves.

4. Communicating with clarity and story

Facts are important. So is the way you bring them to life. People remember stories – a customer’s experience, a colleague’s challenge, a moment that illustrates why change is needed.

Influencing communication often:

• Starts with the outcome: “What we are asking for today is…”
• Shows the “why”: “Here is the risk if we do nothing, and the opportunity if we act.”
• Uses simple, concrete language instead of jargon.
• Tailors the level of detail to the audience – high level for senior sponsors, more granular for delivery teams.

Drama based learning is ideal for practising this. You can experiment with different openings, levels of energy and body language, then get immediate feedback on what lands.

5. Staying grounded when things get tough

Not every influencing conversation goes smoothly. People push back, get emotional or simply switch off. One of the most underrated influencing skills is the ability to stay grounded and respectful in the face of challenge.

That might mean:

• Taking a breath instead of reacting instantly.
• Summarising what you have heard (“So your main worry is…”) before responding.
• Suggesting a pause or follow-up conversation when emotions are high.

When you handle disagreement well, you often build more long-term influence, because people see that you can be trusted when the stakes are high.

Where people commonly get stuck

In our work with clients, we see a few recurring influencing “traps”:

• Overloading with information. Sharing every possible detail in the hope that something will convince people, rather than choosing the most relevant points.
• Relying on authority. Leaning on job title or process instead of taking time to build alignment and trust.
• Taking resistance personally. Hearing “no” as a rejection of you, not as feedback on the proposal or timing.
• Trying to influence everyone at once. Ignoring the value of early conversations with key stakeholders before the big meeting.

Our How to Influence training programme tackles these head-on. Through Drama based Learning, you can experiment with different strategies, make mistakes safely and find an influencing style that feels natural for you.

How Drama based Learning brings influencing skills to life

Reading articles like this is a useful starting point. However, influence is ultimately about behaviour in the moment – the words you choose, your tone, your posture, the way you respond to unexpected questions. That is why ted Learning uses Drama based Learning to explore influence.

In a typical session you might:

• Watch a scene where a project lead tries (and fails) to persuade a senior stakeholder, spotting exactly where things go off track.
• Rewind the scene and direct our actors to try different approaches: a clearer outcome, a stronger story, more curiosity about the stakeholder’s concerns.
• Try out your own influencing challenge with an actor, practising how you would open, respond to pushback and close the conversation.

This approach is collaborative and energising. People often tell us it is the first time they have really seen their own influencing habits in action – and had the chance to refine them in real time.

Taking the next step after reading about influence

You can start using some of these ideas immediately: planning your next meeting with outcome and audience in mind, or testing a new way of opening a difficult conversation. For many teams, the next step is to build a shared, practical toolkit through structured learning.

Our How to Influence training course is designed to help people put all the elements we have discussed into practice, using Drama based Learning scenes that reflect your world. Whether you are leading major change or simply want your day-to-day conversations to have more impact, it gives you the space to experiment, get feedback and leave with tools you can apply straight away.

FAQs about How to Influence at Work

What does “influencing” actually mean at work?

Influencing at work is about shaping decisions and behaviour without relying only on formal authority. It involves understanding what matters to other people, communicating clearly, building trust and handling pushback well. You are not forcing people to agree with you; you are helping them see why a particular course of action makes sense.

Do I need to be naturally confident or extroverted to influence effectively?

No. Some of the most effective influencers are quiet, thoughtful people who listen well, ask good questions and prepare carefully. Drama based Learning helps you explore an influencing style that fits your personality, rather than pushing you into a one-size-fits-all model.

How can I start improving my influencing skills today?

Begin by being clearer on your outcomes and your audience. Before key conversations, ask yourself what “good” looks like, what others care about and what story will help them connect the dots. During discussions, focus on listening and summarising before you respond. Over time, these small shifts make a big difference to your impact.

What does the How to Influence course cover?

The How to Influence training course covers core elements such as stakeholder mapping, building trust, telling a compelling story, handling challenge and staying grounded when things get tough. Using Drama based Learning, it gives you the chance to practise realistic influencing situations and receive feedback from facilitators, actors and peers.